


Christmas Eve

by firepoppyqueen



Category: K-pop, NCT (Band), Super M
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst and Feels, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Biting, Choking, Christmas Smut, Creampie, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Hair-pulling, Missionary Position, Multiple Orgasms, Nipple Licking, Nipple Play, Riding, Rough Sex, Sex, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-28
Updated: 2020-12-28
Packaged: 2021-03-11 03:06:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,970
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28378167
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/firepoppyqueen/pseuds/firepoppyqueen
Summary: It’s Christmas Eve and you find yourself outside of your ex boyfriend Taeyong’s house, finally getting the answers you have been looking for. Despite the hurt you feel in your heart, you are still in love with him. Will it be worth it or this is be good bye for good?
Relationships: Lee Taeyong/Reader
Kudos: 26





	Christmas Eve

The snow is coming down hard, snowflakes piling onto your windshield as you set your car in park. You look at the time on the dash, and it says it’s 8:03 p.m. You sigh heavily, the pit of your stomach churning into knots, tears already forming in your eyes. It’s Christmas eve, and you would rather be anywhere else but here, outside of your ex-boyfriend Taeyong Lee’s apartment building. You want to be at home, laying in your cold bed, watching A Christmas Story, literally anything that would keep your mind off of this nagging pain you feel in your heart. You know this is against your better judgment, you being here. You know that he is no good for you, and you should drive back home and forget that you never made this trip. But he called, and you came running. What a fool you are. 

You met Taeyong at a college party, and you were instantly attracted. His short black hair, tall, lean figure, and stylish clothes are what drew you to him first. You could easily spot him in the room, dancing and drinking the night away, his aura shining like the golden light in the sea. When he laid eyes on you, your knees buckled, and you knew you were in trouble. So when he approached you that night, of course, you talked to him. When he wanted to leave and “talk at your place”, you were more than happy to oblige. When he kissed you, sliding his fingers up your shirt to unhook your bra, you didn’t stop it. You wanted it, and it happened many more times after that. What you didn’t expect was falling for him—craving him. You wanted him every second of the day. You wanted to hear his heartbeat and listen to him talk about his struggles. He said he needed you, and you believed it. He made you feel good when you talked to him about your major, marine biology. He opened your mind to so many cultures and hobbies that you wouldn’t have done without him. He understood your body and how it responded to him. You were head over heels in love with him. 

Taeyong read every page in your book, and you thought you had him until he suddenly broke up with you. You didn’t understand it; you were happy, and you thought he was. The way his eyes light up when you were in front of him, the tight hugs he gave you, the way he paid attention to you. He just left you alone and disappeared, shattering your heart into a million pieces. Everywhere you went, it reminded you of him. He was hard to ignore, hard to get over. You barely slept; you put your focus into school, hoping it would take the pain away. You wanted to feel ice in your heart when you thought of him, and you almost succeeded until he called you tonight wanting to talk. 

  
  


You send a text, letting him know you were here, and half a minute later, he messages you back with the code to his gate. You climb out of the car, attacked by snow, and you quickly lock your door, heading for the building. Your fingers almost go numb, punching the numbers into the keypad, and you let out a sigh of relief when the gate opens. You make it inside, making your way to his apartment door, and you stand there nervously, unsure of how you should announce your arrival. You close your eyes and take a deep breath, raising your hand and knocking on the door. He opens it after a few seconds, dressed in a blue shirt and black jeans, and you almost forgot how handsome he was. His hair is a little longer with grey streaks in it, and his skin is glowing, golden even. You can tell he’s been eating well and taking care of himself. You want nothing more than to kiss him and tell him you miss him, but he doesn’t deserve that.

“Hey, Y/N. Thank you for coming on such short notice,” Taeyong greets you, guiding you in with his hand on your lower back, sending chills down your spine. 

“S-sure,” you sputter, your nerves getting the best of you. 

You take off your jacket, revealing your Arizona sweater that you got when you and Taeyong went on a trip to the Grand Canyon. You opted to wear leggings along with sneakers, wanting to be as comfortable as possible in this nerve-wracking situation. He goes into the kitchen and comes back with two cups of tea, insisting that you take one, and you politely accept it, taking a small sip. 

“You look good,” he began, setting his cup down on the coffee table. “I’m happy you are here.”

Your hand grips the handle on the cup, the blood in your fingers temporarily drained as you try to control your anger. 

“I didn’t come here for tea and crumpets, Taeyong,” you scoffed, setting your cup down. “Why am I here?”

“I see you still have that fire in you,” he jokes, leaning back into his seat. “You’re as beautiful as ever.”

You cock an eyebrow at him, and your nostrils flare, your frustration mounting as you feel like he is not taking you seriously. You grab your jacket, halfway to the door when you feel his hand grab yours, stopping you in your tracks.

“I- I’m sorry,” he stammers, pulling me closer to him. “This is really awkward for me, and I was just trying to lighten up the mood. Please don’t go.”

You contemplate your next move, your head telling you to high tail it out of there and never talk to him again. You know that’s the best decision, and it should be your only decision. But the whispers of your heart creep in, clouding your mental judgment, nudging you to sit back down and hear him out. Your heart wants you to take Taeyong’s words at face value and forgive him. You are invested in him: body and spirit. Being in love fucking sucks. 

“You have five minutes,” you warn, taking your hand away from him and sitting on the couch. 

He nods and sits across from you, his eyes closed as he takes a deep breath. He runs his hands through his hair, his high cheekbones no longer hidden by his hair. It was like a greek god sculpted him, and it takes great mental strength not to be distracted by his perfection. He lifts an eyebrow as if he read your mind, and you look away nervously, your face getting hot. 

“I… fucked up,” he began. “I shouldn’t have left you. I fell in love with you fast, and I could not handle how it made me feel. You surrounded my world, and I felt like I had to have you every second of the day. You made me feel comfortable about myself, and you never judged me when I told you things about my past. I didn’t have to explain things much because you understood me and took care of me when I felt down. The sex with you…It scared me how well you knew me and how you felt inside; everything is new with you. Being with you scared me, and I didn’t want to confront these thoughts and feelings, so I felt like I had to break up with you and leave.”

You mull over his words, and your repressed anger brews inside of you, the steam coming out of your ears. You are hurt that instead of acknowledging these feelings, and that he could be happy, he decided to be chicken-hearted and leave. He left you broken, insecure of yourself, and you had to pull yourself together alone. The sleepless nights with tears soaking your pillow, the stomach cramps from the stress of losing him, all of it was for nothing.

“Y/N say something,” Taeyong pleads. “Tell me you love me—”

“You’re a coward,” you glare at his widened eyes. “You’re a fucking coward. You left me, ditched town, and didn’t talk to me for weeks because you could not handle being happy? Did I understand you correctly?” 

“It’s not that simple—”

“Well then, help me fucking understand!” you snap, your nails digging into your hand.

.“I wanted to be in love with you, but I had a hard time receiving it,” Taeyong defends him, clutching on the neck of his shirt. “I grew up with divorced parents, and my mom worked so much and was lonely. My dad was drunk and had multiple women come in and out of my life. I didn’t experience love growing up. I never had serious relationships, and I didn’t think it was possible for me until you came along. You made me feel different, like it was a new world I was embarking on. I just started to open up to you, and it scared me the shit out of me. I didn’t know how to handle my feelings.”

He sighs heavily, his fingers raking his hair once more, his other hand stroking his furrowed brow. 

“I guess you’re right,” he laments. “I am a coward.”

You don’t say anything; the silence is deafening between you two. There’s anger still inside of you, but the flame isn’t as strong. Your heart yearns for Taeyong, and you miss him, despite leaving you. You feel conflicted, unsure how to handle this new information, and do not want to just up and leave him either. 

“Okay,” you say slowly. “Why are you telling me all of this?”

“I- I miss you Y/N,” he confesses, tears shone in his eyes. “I miss hearing your voice and waking up to your face in the mornings. I miss your laugh and your smile, your presence. I miss all of you. I realize now that I couldn’t accept the love you were giving me because I had my own shit that I needed to work through. I should have been more honest. I love you, and I need you. Please, believe in me again.”

Your eyes are glossy, little drops falling on your cheeks, and you quickly wipe them away, embarrassed that he could invoke this kind of emotion out of you. You are frustrated because he hurt you badly, and you shouldn’t forgive him, but you love him just as hard as you did 3 months ago. You want to trust him and give in to him completely. Your body is craving him like a bad habit, and it’s something you can no longer ignore. You need your fix.

“God, I hate you!” You shouted, balling your fists together. You pace back and forth in his living room, screaming every curse word you could think of. “You really hurt me, Tae. Our relationship was good. We were good. We didn’t fight a lot, we respected each other’s space and each other, and we had great communication. Do you know how rare it is to find someone who can understand your thoughts and you don’t have to say much? You just get it? Not everyone is blessed to have that in a partner, and we both had it. We actually have things in common, and we were friends before anything. How could fuck that up? How could you leave me like that?”

You take a deep breath, observing the guilty look on his face, and as much as you envisioned telling him how you feel and feeling good about it, you don’t. Instead, you feel sicker; the pain is eating you up inside.

“What’s crazy about all of this is that despite you hurting me the way you did, I am still in fucking love with you,” you announce, collapsing on the couch. “Was I not enough for you to stay? Did I give you that much love that you felt like you had to run away from me?”

Your emotions are written all over you, and you sob heavily, your cries filling the living room. Taeyong comes over to you, holding you in his arms, and you don’t fight it; instead, your body sinks into his old habits. You hate yourself for still wanting him after all this time, but the heart wants what it wants. 

“I hurt you, and I’m sorry about that, about everything,” he admits, hugging you closer. “I understand if you can’t forgive me; I know I fucked up. You needed an explanation, and I felt like you deserve that.”

You look up at him, your eyes are red, and your face is stained with tears. His expression is soft, pleading with you to give him another chance. His face is inches from yours, your lips practically touching his, but you get up, leaving his embrace and fixing your appearance. 

“I shouldn’t have done that,” you panic, grabbing your coat and your purse. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have leaned into you like that, giving you any ideas. I’m just going to go.”

Taeyong jumps up behind you as you open the door, walking into the hallway. You turn around and face him, his heavy eyes and frown affecting you more than you thought. You want to reach out to him, and hold him and never let him go. You want to pick up where you left off and ride into the sunset with him. You want to be with him. You need him. But you’re afraid that he will abandon you, and you won’t survive if he does it again. You have to protect your heart and your mind. Your mind is telling you to let him go. 

“Goodbye, Tae,” you mumble, walking away from him towards the exit sign outside. 

You step outside, and the snow has the makings of a blizzard, with at least four inches of it on the ground. Your exposed ankles brush against the icy, wet surface as you are halfway to your car. You look back at the apartment building, and you think of Taeyong, your last visual of him clouded with sadness. You think about what happened in there and how being in his presence felt strange but familiar. How handsome he looked after all this time and how much emotion he conveyed that makes you believe he was honest. You think about how warm his arms were and how his cologne hasn’t changed. You are in love, and you may be a fool, but you are going to follow your heart and pray to God it does not steer you wrong. 

You turn around and run back towards the building, furiously mashing your fingers into the keypad. Slipping along the way, you make your way to his door, knocking a little harder than before. Seconds later, Taeyong opens up with a bewildered expression. 

“I thought you left,” he states, moving to the side to let you in. 

“I almost did, but the snow is crazy out there,” you say awkwardly. “So I sat in the car to think.”

“Okay..?,” his tone is cautious, unsure of what’s happening. He walks into the living room, looking out the window, seeing the blizzard take place. He looks back at me, a small smile on his face as he sits down on his sofa. You sit down as well, keeping a reasonable distance between you. 

“I’m not going to lie Y/N; I am perplexed,” he confesses. “You just told me goodbye, and now you’re here. What changed your mind?”

“I might regret this in the morning, but right now I have to tell you how I truly feel,” you declare, closing on the distance between you two. “I can’t stop loving you, and I have tried. You abandoned me and left me broken. Every time I thought of you, I wanted to hate you and wish bad things about you, but I couldn’t. You’ve connected to a part of me that others haven’t. I saw a part of your soul that was raw and beautiful. The memories we made together, the love we made, the talks we’ve had… I need you as much as you need me. You are my best friend.”

Taeyong doesn’t say anything; his mouth is parted slightly, and his eyes widened at your profession. The silence is not welcoming, and it makes you feel insecure, embarrassed that you laid yourself out there, and he had nothing to say. You nod to yourself, setting yourself up to leave once again. 

“This was a mistake; I’m sorry I came back,” you sigh, walking towards the door again. 

“No, it wasn’t,” he murmured, getting up and meeting you where you stand. He grabs you by your waist, pulling you close to him. His hand gently glided through your hair, his eyes gleaming with the adoration of you. You had sparks in yours, and when he kissed you, it ignited a fireball of desire. You quickly take off your jacket and sweater, exposing your black laced bra. You help him out of his shirt and jeans, your lips only leaving his as articles of clothing are flying everywhere. “God, I missed you so much,” he whispers in your ear. 

You deepen the kiss, feeling the bulge in his boxers grow firm against your stomach. You smirk as you slowly take off your leggings, revealing your red panties. He grabs a handful of your ass, kissing you once more, biting your bottom lip. “I love you, Taeyong.” You look into his eyes, your thumb grazing his cheek, admiring the face of the man that you love. 

“I love you too,” he murmurs, pulling you down to the couch. 

Taeyong sits down, and you straddle his lap, planting yourself on his growing bulge. You can feel the tip of him touching your center, and you moan softly, moving your hips slowly to create friction. His head cocks back, his hands holding onto your hips, pushing your hips at a faster pace. You unhook your bra, your breasts freely jingling in his face, and he cups them, running his tongue across your nipples, sucking on them like he can’t get enough.

“Fuck,” you let out a needy moan, the electricity vibrating throughout your body. 

He looks up at you, his eyes seducing you as he leaves bite marks all over your chest. You can feel his length threatening to stick out of his briefs, and your wetness is pooling through your panties. You want him inside of you, and you don’t want to wait another second. You lift yourself up a little, sliding his member fully out, already leaking with precum. You take it and rub his shaft with it, his groans muffled by your breast stuffed in his mouth. 

“I need you now,” you demand, pulling your panties to the side. “Fuck me, please.”

Taeyong nods, ripping your panties entirely off, lining himself up with your center. He rubs his tip along your slit, igniting sparks between you two as you bite your lip in anticipation. He slowly sinks you down to him, wanting to make sure you adjust to his size. “God, I missed the way you feel,” he confesses as you start bouncing on him. He thrusts his hips upwards to meet you, his soft moans filling the living room, and you increase your pace, digging your nails into the couch for balance. 

“You feel so fucking good,” you pant, your fingers tenderly massaging his neck.

You extend your fingers around his neck, taking your loose thumb and slipping it into his mouth. You bounce on him eagerly, your moans in sync, your eyes never leaving his as you tighten your grasp around his neck. You feel your release coming, your stomach coiling as you are sent over the edge. Taeyong grabs two fistfuls of your hair, bringing you to his lips, thrusting harder into you as you pulsate around his cock.

“Oh my god,” you scream over and over, your eyes rolling to the back of your head. You are sure the neighbors can hear you, but you don’t care. He lifts up and lays you on the couch, lifting one leg over his shoulder before shoving his length into your tight hole.

“I’m not finished with you yet,” he growled. 

You didn’t get a chance to process what he said as he buries himself deeply into you, his hand on your throat, fucking you into another orgasm. His thumb is rubbing your clit, sending jolts throughout your body, your legs quivering as they surround him. You roll your head back against the couch, pinching your nipples in pure ecstasy, telling him how good he is making you feel. He picks up the pace, fucking into you harder, beads of sweat dripping from his face as he signals his release. 

“Fuck I am going to cum,” he groans, his eyes dark and full of desire. You feel yourself about to soar over the edge once again, digging your nails into his back. 

“Cum inside of me, I miss you being inside of me-” you choke, seeing blinding white stars. You convulse around him, a whimpering mess, tears coming out of your eyes from overstimulation. Taeyong arches his back and cries your name, slamming thrusts of climax as he spills into you until he can no longer move. He collapses on top of you, and you hold him tight, basking into the afterglow. Your hearts are beating in rhythm, and it feels familiar and warm, being in his arms like this again. You kiss his left temple, and he lifts his head up a little, meeting your lips with sweet kisses. 

“I love you, Y/N,” he whispers. “I was an idiot for leaving you the way I did. I will spend the rest of my life making it right with you.”

Taeyong plants another kiss on your lips before getting up and walking to the bathroom. You hear the bath running, and you sit up and try to stand, almost falling before catching your balance. You saunter to the bathroom, feeling every bit of pain in your thighs. He comes out and guides you into the tub, filled with Epsom salt and bubbles. 

“I see nothing has changed about you taking baths,” you quip, climbing in and settling down. Taeyong chuckles and admits that he takes one once a week to relax. He climbs in and settles behind you, washing the back of your neck before working his way down. You lean back, laying your head on your chest before closing your eyes, completely relaxed. He wraps his arms around you, holding you tight, leaving small kisses on your neck. There’s a moment of silence between you two that came with the solace that you craved for a long time. 

“I have to ask Y/N, for my own understanding…,” he trails off before clearing his throat. “Do you forgive me? Are we back together?”

You sit up and face him, his puppy eyes melting your heart, making you fall for him all over again.

“I would say that we are off to a good start,” you joke, kissing his hand. “This year has been tough, but tonight it’s Christmas Eve. Let’s celebrate being young and being alive.”

You lean in and kiss him, water splooshing around you two in the small tub. You keep your eyes half-open, sneaking peeks at him just to make sure this was actually real; you being here with him. His hands cup your face, deepening the kiss and pulling you closer.

“I love you,” you confess in between breaths. “I love you so much.”

Taeyong pauses and looks at you lovingly, brushing his thumb across your cheek before kissing a kiss on your forehead. 

“I love you more,” Taeyong whispers back. “Always and forever.” 


End file.
